


backstorytime!TM

by worddumb



Series: Human AU thing [7]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, I'm Sorry, Seriousness treated like crack, problem?, yes I did reverse that tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 10:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21146372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddumb/pseuds/worddumb
Summary: This is ridiculous and stupid and dumb and stupid and dumb and dumb and stupid, have fun!





	backstorytime!TM

Okay, so, my mind is pretending it’s void, so I might as well write down some of the perfectly unimportant shit it came up with for my human AU backstories- basically, just the most silly, one or two sentence description of how one got into it/what life event made them into who they are now. It’s nothing but stupid, for every active hermit as well, so uhhh

Have at it, I guess

Zedaph:

Being a circus animal is not that fun, but watching your captors get mauled by lions is, so that’s something!

Impulse: 

When your friend is going through their anarchist faze, the best thing you can do for them is join a gang.

Tango: 

Read the bible fully once, swore oath to disobey its every rule, failed miserably and chucked it into the sun in his fury. People were confused why there were flaming books falling from the sky, but that’s okay!

Xisuma: 

Got so salty at his brothers he almost died.

Eax: (yeah, I know, he’s no less part of this AU tho)

Pissed his brother off so much he almost died, couldn’t live with that after.

Ax: (they both have a full name btw, no one calls them that tho)

Participated in pissing his brother off so much he almost died, has never been the same since.

Python:

What happens when you don’t tell your child about the dangers of sticking fingers into sockets, but also snakes. A lot of snakes.

Cub: 

When your cult’s deity sucks, simply create your own!

Scar:

When your new friend assures you they’re not a part of a cult called Hermitcraft on your very second meeting,believing them is simply not an option. Joining is.

Jevin:

This guy just… Popped up one day, and no one had the mental capacity to question that.

Keralis:

Your gambling addiction can be easily battled by gambling your life, don’t believe those who say otherwise!

Bdubs:

That awkward moment, when your ranch is destroyed and you can no longer be a horse girl, but you’re still a horse girl at heart *distressed Bubbles noises in the background*

Doc:

They ask you how you’re doing, and you just have to say that you’re fine, but you’re not really fine, but they would never understand-

Ren:

When local sad-boi visits a cheap bar to get drunk and a no less local singer comes around to comfort him, it’s inevitable both parties think ‘well, this one won’t survive on it’s own’.

Grian:

Fandom version of Beauregard Lionette’s backstory but backwards.

Iskall:

Tired of being blackmailed into being a hitman? Willingly joining a gang as one might help!

Mumbo:

The group you’ve been fanboying over on twitter noticed you and wants to get to know you, what do you do? Panic. The answer is you Panic.

False:

A bunch of himbos invade your gym, gotta get to the bottom of it! Oh shit, now you’re one of them!

Stress:

When being a part of royal family gets too much, you can always join a gang! 

Cleo:

She’s legally dead, she can do whatever damn she pleases. Also, cool scars and a brother.

Joe:

Sometimes, a man just has to support his friend, even if said friend is being stupid and wants to defy the law in very law-defying ways, ya know?

TFC:

Being a cryptid is hard work, why would he let it go to waste? 

In conclusion, no matter your tragedy, joining a gang always helps! (jk, I’m so sorry for this)


End file.
